 Raymond Crowder March 1, 1982 - July 12, 2003 Raymond was adopted into our family when he was just one month old. I was in my early 20s, so in many ways I became a second Mom to Raymond. At an early age he was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. He was born to a birth mother that abandoned him in the hospital not even bothering to give him a name. In 21 years Raymond was not able to accomplish much. Even though he was an adult, he was still very much a child. Like many other children with FAS, he had many lonely, misunderstood years that he did not deserve to have. I am guilty of contributing to some of those years. I have many fond memories of Raymond. His generosity, quick witty and big smile! Because of having FAS, he was impuslive, had poor judgment, and was easily led, and he became involved with the law and got into some serious trouble. After a year in jail, he was released, and never got into serious trouble again. But he was lost. He didn't go to school, he didn't work. He had very little support from friends or family and still associated with the wrong crowd. He was alone and lonely for many years. I began to understand FASD and was ready to reach out to Raymond in anyway he needed. Days after I made this personal commitment to Raymond, he was murdered and I never got my chance to help him. He died without knowing how much I loved him. My brother's life ended as tragically as it began. Abandoned, left to die alone in the middle of the street after a bullet ripped through the back of his head. Raymond was alone on a city street at 3:00 am, July 12, 2003, after attending a party and drinking alcohol. Two young men, both under the influence of alcohol and other drugs, had been firing off a gun all night and came across Raymond. By their own admission, for no other reason than him having the misfortune of crossing their path, they placed gun to the back of his head and shot him to death. In his parole hearing the murderer said that he had an alcohol problem which caused him to become angry and violent. He said he knew that he needed help, which we all hope he gets, so that some day we can forgive him. Raymond did not have the sense to keep himself safe and from danger. I truly believe that if Raymond had the understanding and support he needed, he would be alive today. I pray that other parents or siblings will use this example of Raymond's tragic life and realize the great importance of supervision for the safety of their child with FASD. Lovingly, Fondly and ALWAYS remembered by your sister, Elaine Email Elaine Thomas |
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