I was one of five children and always wanted a large family, Will was an only child and always wanted a large family. We got married and to our shock never got pregnant. When we discussed the possibility of adoption we agreed that because of our age, it would not be fair to adopt a child affected by alcohol exposure because we might not live long enough to see him/her through all life's problems.

In Sept. 1987, we were told of a baby to be born in two weeks whose mother was looking for a couple to adopt him privately and we were assured that there were no drugs or alcohol involved.

We proceeded to contact a lawyer and the state and to do all on the necessary things. On Oct. 1, 1987 Vincent was born. Being a potential private adoption the hospital would give us no information. From a friend of the biomom we were told he had pneumonia and he was on a respirator.

Vincent was in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit for six weeks. On the day of discharge we went with the biomom to pick him up. The doctor was cautious in answering (and not answering) questions. We were told by the biomom that Vincent had had seizures, meningitis, skull infection and was a preemie. The doctor said he has FAS and if he lives he might be severely retarded. Too late, we were in love and we could deal with retardation as I had been a special ed teacher before becoming a nurse.

The years went by and we worked hard with Vincent, trying to help him develop his intelligence (as we were only told of retardation to be a risk). There were things that puzzled us and we went from doctor to doctor to doctor and got no answers. Vincent was lovable, bright, charming, full of personality and amazingly independent, a problem solver and a tremendous compensator, so it was impossible to determine his real abilities and we were convinced he had no disabilities.

Years went by, behavior problems cropped up and he was diagnosed ADHD, but the accepted ADHD techniques did not work for him. Behavior problems worsened and we continued our trek from doctor to doctor, always asking if the prenatal drug and alcohol exposure could have caused neurological complications. We were told he was fine and we needed to work on our parenting techniques.

Vincent was told from day one that he was adopted and this was fine with him, but he resented being an only child. He wanted siblings and did not care how we got them. We thought, prayed and discussed the possibility of a foster child, as we were turned down by adoption agencies because of our age.

And so phase two of parenthood began with foster parenting classes and the hopes of having a long-term placement of a healthy 8-yr-old boy.

On May 16, 1996 we were certified as foster parents and two hours later they needed an emergency placement for a 5-yr-old boy and a 3-yr-old girl. Well, 5+3=8, and we said yes.

These were two of six siblings and two months later there was need for emergency placement of their 8-yr-old brother and we said yes, and one week later they needed a temporary vacation placement for their 2.5-yr-old brother and we said YES. And so our new life began.

Skipping the details of the fights with the systems and the politics, with the 8-yr-old being removed because he was totally out of control 24/7 and the 2.5-yr-old being returned to his foster mom when her vacation was over. By Jan of 1998, all seven of us were under one roof and working toward the adoption of the four sibs.

All four were drug and alcohol exposed, as was Vincent. We joined Faslink and then determined to find a geneticist and find out once and for all what we were dealing with. Vincent was diagnosed FAS. (A year later we were able to obtain the hospital discharge summary and found that nine years before, he was diagnosed by the same geneticist with "Unequivocal stigmata of FAS" and would need follow up!!!!!

On Sept. 4, 1998 Paul, age 10, Will Jr., age 8, Carol Ann Marie age 5 and Anthony Francis age 4 were adopted forever into the Allen family. They each chose their own names.

We continue to struggle with the behavior problems of FAS/FAE, Tony being diagnosed with FAS, and the other three with FAE. They are the sweetest most lovable children on earth and have brought more joy to our lives than can ever be imagined.

People ask us "why" at our ages. It is very simple, vacations and cruises and all the other things that go with retirement last but a moment, children are forever. They are our retirement. Most likely none of them will every be fully independent. We are surrounded by a few very faithful friends, especially Pappy Jack and Gram who are the children's adopted grandparents. We have a full and happy life and the richest possible life.

Our biggest and toughest job is fighting the system, the schools and those who cannot or will not understand. Mom and Dad and Gram and Pappy Jack have taken on the task of educating the schools and medical profession and politicians of our county regarding FAS/FAE. We have a long hard road ahead of us, but like our children, we are stubborn, perseverative and determined.

If you would like to join us in battle for kids with FAS/E and the prevention of future alcohol damage to children, or if you have any questions feel free to email us at: poocs@pro-usa.net - Carol Ann and Will Allen, Sr.