Can You Forgive the Other Mother?
To all the birth moms, with love from an adoptive mom
of two children with FASD. --Nanette Muhn May 22, 2001

I am so hard on you - I think you knew

I think - How could you?

But there’s a rule!

I’m not allowed to look at you

Unless I can look at my facts,

And tell you how I act. 

I’m no perfect angel- no not me.

If you look carefully, you will see.

I have my faults that hurt others too.

And later I look back and don’t know what to do. 

Too late later, isn’t it?

To say I didn’t mean it.

That’s not a choice for you or me.

We can’t take back what happened last week. 

We all have our faults,

Even those that won’t admit them.

We all have sin in our living. 

Regardless of the way they come out.

They all hurt others and none of it helps.

Some lie, steal and cheat.

Some hit, fight and sneak.

Others murder, kill and hide.

Some abuse, embezzle and have false pride.

Some kick their dogs and scream at love ones.

Some never learn what they have done.

To all you birth moms that have come,

Stepping forward to raise your children 

with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Let me say this about what you do -

I am proud to know you.

I am glad that I never had to stand before you.

And let you judge me, for what I do.

My list of behaviors would go on,

With a drink in my hand I was gone. 

If we were standing side by side

Would anyone know who child is mine?

Would anyone know my FAS child wasn’t from me?

Would anyone know I could be you so very easily?

So to all of you

I can only think of one thing to do.

Ask for your forgiveness,

For what I thought of you.

There is no one among us without scars

We both fought the alcohol wars.

Now the battle has been won -

We both get to be called Mom.