They say my child has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
That FAS is not curable, not healable, not fixable.
I have been told the rages and confusion and behaviors
may never go away.
These are the words we constantly hear,
that we want to push away, ignore, not admit,
not listen to, not believe.
words we are not used to hearing or thinking about,
not programmed to accept,
nor supposed to relate to.
Certainly not about someone we love,
someone we care for,
someone we have high hopes for.
How does one make peace with these words?
Where do you find normalcy,
obtain balance or resolution?
How do we discover good,
attain a place for the future
for our child, our family?
How do we realize harmony?
How does one understand
this perpetually disordered state of mind?
Can we see past this condition,
over and above these diagnoses,
accept these predisposition's,
endure these behaviors?
What is the formula?
Is there a way?
To you, my friends, my parents,
my teachers, my doctors, my nurses,
to see them struggle through the bad times
and the good,
to have sympathy and tolerance
that they are people in enormous pain,
to be familiar with that
which is common to their life's struggles,
to have a firm conviction in them
and the innate goodness and abilities
that are born into all of us,
in bearing the pain or trials calmly
and manifesting forbearance
under the provocation or strain they bring into your life,
to accept by choice
that their lives are worthwhile and have meaning,
by CE, September 21, 2003
Grieving the Loss of the Dream