I want to tell you about Melissa. She was born in 1976 prematurely, with a congenital heart disease, microcephaly, and "Failure to Thrive;" Her Mother had probably been drinking during pregnancy; she was an alcoholic and is now deceased. While a child, Melissa was also diagnosed with severe vision impairment (legally blind), was speech-delayed, and had symptoms similar to ADHD. In Melissa's hospital records on April 12, l978 there was a diagnosis of "Fetal Maternal Syndrome," evidently a mistake for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. At 7 months, she was placed in foster care. After bouncing around many foster care placements and a failed adoption, she was placed with Johnelle at the age of 6 years (1982). Johnelle says she thought Melissa was so cute that "she stole my heart." (Stop me if you've heard this before!) She was told that Melissa was "uneducable." Johnelle had been a schoolteacher, so she took this as a challenge! Johnelle was and is a Catholic Sister. Johnelle's plans to adopt Melissa never materialized, so Melissa has become her permanent foster daughter. Melissa's placement with Johnelle was supposed to be temporary, but once she realized what her situation was, she could not give up "Lissie," as her mother calls her, to anyone, out of fear that they would not understand her needs, and that Lissie would suffer as a result.
Fast forward over many years, with details familiar to most parents of kids who have FAS or ARND. Melissa is now 24 years old. She runs her own business, supported by her mother and Marilyn Kind. About ten years ago, Marilyn was a Client Services/Respite Coordinator for Quality Life Concepts, Inc., which is a service provider for people with developmental disabilities. She met Johnelle and Lissie when Johnelle was one of the 114 clients on her respite caseload. In the mid-1990s, with a friend, Marilyn attempted to establish a non-profit corporation to assist people with FAS/FAE. Unfortunately, they were not funded. Marilyn also provided Johnelle with lots of resource material on FAS, and spent lots of time listening to her and Lissie process "their stuff."
One part of her business that Marilyn helped them with is that she used to take dogs for walks. Marilyn had been developing her own dog walking service on the computer; in fact, her email address is "walkadog@3rivers.net". When they found out about this mutual interest, they just had to laugh! So they joined forces in The Serendipitous Adventure, or Providence, as Johnelle calls it.
In 1998, Marilyn helped Johnelle and Melissa start a new business making, packaging and marketing gourmet dog treats, which they call "Lissie's Luv Yums." It was in giving presents to the dogs they walked that they came up with the idea of making the gourmet dog biscuits. They gave them presents on their birthdays and especially Christmas, when they made the biscuits and decorated them. People saw some of these gifts and started ordering them. That is where they got the idea. They did a feasability study of sorts----and decided to go for a grant. And that is how Lissie's Luv Yums got started. The grant was from the Rural Institue on Disabilities and Montana Jobs Training Partnership Inc.
Melissa showed us all the details involved in this process, as well as the finished packages, which look very well done. The dog treats are made with all natural ingredients and Montana's Golden Wheat. They grind their own soybeans and wheat berries. Dogs really like them. They have a lot of cute stories about dogs going for their treats. Lissie apparently has worked easily with dogs for a long time. Eventually, Lissie had to give up walking the dogs in order to keep up with producing Lissie's Luv Yums. So if you have a dog, get him/her some of Lissie's Luv Yums from Lissie at (406) 453-2531!
Lissie also talked about her journey with FAS. She speaks herself, aided by note cards kept in sequence by a metal ring so that she can turn the cards over without scrambling the deck. She was coached from the sidelines by her Mom and Marilyn, and everyone looked comfortable with that process. She ended her presentation at the conference by playing "You are My Sunshine" and "Edelweiss" on the violin. Johnelle sang the words along with her, and everyone chimed in on the chorus. The only verse of You Are My Sunshine that she sang was "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping/I dreamed I held you in my arms/When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken/so I hung my head and cried." [Never mind that she had created an entirely new context for that verse, far different than what Leadbelly had in mind when he wrote the song!] Edelweiss also took on new meaning: "Bless my homeland forever" became a reference to Lissie's American Indian reservation. There was scarcely a dry eye in the room. Lissie and her mom were the most hugged people at the conference.
At the end of the conference a Round Dance was held. Melissa is an enrolled member of the Gros Ventre/Assiniboine tribe. She was greatly honored by her people at the round dance in receiving a sacred shawl and her Assiniboine name of Eya Be Washday Weya ("Good Words Woman.") The healing tears erupted, as the 'Good Words Woman' was overwhelmed with love and acceptance from her too long estranged family.
Her story was written up in a feature article on the front page of the Great Falls (Montana) Tribune, gftribune@mcn.com, on March 15, 1999, as the second installment of a three-part series on Alcohol: Cradle to Grave. You can read the article on the Newspaper web site at
Lissie said, in a moment of embarrassing candor, "I'll probably be stuck with Mom for the rest of her life!" --which provoked embarrassed laughter from all who heard it. But she meant it positively-- she said she doesn't really want to live anywhere else. Nevertheless, Johnelle is getting old, and they talked openly about the future. Johnelle asked me if people with FAS could be trusted to drive. I remembered some of the comments about that from parents of children with FAS, and expressed caution. Nevertheless, Johnelle said that there might come a time when she would be too old to drive, or perhaps might be sick or injured, and Lissie would need to be able to drive her to the hospital or something. It is hard to argue with Johnelle's logic, but Lissie, oddly enough, was not eager for that opportunity, and given that Lissie is legally blind, it does not seem feasible. There is also of course the matter of being able to pass the driver's written test, as well as the problems of actually driving.
Johnelle & Lissie, with some assists from Marilyn, make a good team. Lissie is succeeding!