I have a terrible fear of the dentist. (More childhood trauma.) I have 3 children needing braces and am unable to follow through because I know I'll be in the dentists office too often. If you have an extreme dislike of hospitals, you don't want to adopt a child who will need frequent medical care. 

Some people are unaware of personal and family attitudes towards mental illness. It's important to really consider how you'd feel about people staring at you when (not IF) your child loses control in public. 

How are you with authority figures? Do you tend to accept what you're told by a doctor or teacher "because they have more experience/better education/they should know; or will you question everything and look for answers on your own? Do you trust your own instincts and are you able to fight to have them taken seriously? 

How much time are you willing to devote to a child? Are you prepared to be 24/7 on-call parent? Are you able to carry a beeper or cell phone even in the bathroom in case someone needs to reach you? 

How strong a self-preservation instinct do you have? Will you be able to separate yourself from your child in order to take care of your own needs? 

Will you be able to walk away from a 5 year old screaming "Mama come back! Don't leave me here!"? Are you willing to cry for hours after talking to a grieving child on the phone, because you know they need more intensive care than you can give them right now? 

Would I make the same choices?  In most cases, yes. The good has far outweighed the negative. I've learned more about myself than I ever wanted to. I've had to face some aspects of my upbringing that were very painful, but I believe that is positive too. I'm more assertive, better educated, and have a better attitude than before. I'm more tolerant of disabilities, and less tolerant of bigots. I walk away from people who annoy me because of their ignorance, and try to educate those who are open to it, or who must learn in order to help my children.

I've learned that there are times to fight, and times to walk away, and how to back off without surrendering.  I've learned to take the long view of life, and I laugh at temporary disasters instead of obsessing on them.  I think my children have taught me far more than I've taught them, and I'm a much better person for it.  No, There are very few decisions I made that I'd change if I could. 

I'd like to change a few decisions made by birth parents, but I've learned to be compassionate for the people who made those choices, because their children enrich many lives. 

Kris, MN