Twelve Points of Acceptance
Parents of the FAS Community Resource Center

When our local parent support group started meeting here in Tucson a few years ago, there were so many issues and problems, it was hard to know where to begin, and it was difficult to meet everyone's desire to share their struggles with FAS. We started a doing what is called a "Suggestion Circle" that was helpful in finding several possible solutions to a particular problem in a short amount of time. Learn how a Suggestion Circle works.

The last few meetings of the parents of the FAS Community Resource Center have been unusual in that there were no pressing issues that needed to be aired. It seemed that for the most part, the families and their children were doing quite well. Most attending were regulars who have learned the "Seven Secrets to Success," and have actually applied these suggested intervention strategies. These parents were truly enjoying success for their children with FAS disorders. So our discussion turned to what we thought was most important in bringing about that success. The parents unanimously agreed that one factor was more important than all the others. That crucial component of success is ACCEPTANCE. They all stated that parents and others working to help their children had accepted the reality of FAS. Having acquired a healthy acceptance that "this is FAS and that's the way it is," the parents were able to find the strength to consistently apply the interventions that each child needed. Here is what they said they had learned to accept:

These points of acceptance were recorded and shared here so that perhaps other support groups can find the same success for their families.
An addendum from another wise Arizona mom:

My daughter, Kay, who turned 15 this week, is having a really tough time. Lately, I've been telling her she can't go places "alone" with her friends because she can't take care of herself and stay safe. I've told her it's not because I think she's "bad" but just because of her disability she can't make good judgments. She can be talked into ANYTHING and lies and steals compulsively. If she's not watched closely, I'm afraid she will end up in jail. Arizona locks up kids as young as 13 in adult jails. She's way past that age and unfortunately, presents very well. I feel bad that she is hurting over this, but not as badly as I'd feel visiting her in jail. And everything I read says that kids do best when they come to accept their disability and correctly compensate for it -- in the case of kids with FASD, to accept their "outside brain." So, I'll continue to do it, but it's hard on both of us, really. Oh well, just another day in the faslane. --Suzy
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Last update: November 10, 2010